So here's the start of my diary. Partly because I want
to put something up on the Web
but have no creativity. Partly because I've been thinking of creating one for a while,
and feel like if I create it online I will be more accountable. Even if no one reads it.
And they won't, Neocities is largely a vanity affair, as was Geocities. But I don't really
know that nobody is going to read this, and if they do, I want them to see someone who
actually manages to turn around his life. I don't want to keep making the same decisions
that keep me isolated, depressed, confused and inert. I don't want to look back at this
and be like, "oh right, there was a moment of inspiration in the darkness." Because I've
had many, enough to be wary. I'd rather do something that's pretty difficult and pretty
uncommon, fundamentally change as a person. I know I'll regret it if I don't, and I'll be
letting down anyone who might read this too. If only because it makes it seem like change
really isn't possible and we're just stuck in our tendencies.
I know the things I need to do today. Pretty simple,
actually. I need to go for a walk.
And I need to log it on Strava and share it with my coach at Boss as a Service. I also
need to vacuum my makeshift room, because it's fucking nasty. Shredded bits of shredded
makeshift dog toy everywhere, strewn all over the piss-splotched carpeting.